Sleepless Nights/Blurry Days
After our son was born, my husband sent me on an overnight getaway to a hotel in the mountains. Because I was nursing, I took along six-week-old Rich. That was the plan. Daddy Richard knew I was exhausted from waking up so many times each night with the baby, running after our three-year-old daughter, helping with the teens at church, and keeping the proverbial home fires burning.
It was a nice gesture on my husband’s part, and since I hadn’t told him what I needed (daily help/support so I could get frequent little naps, a listening ear, validation that I was doing an okay job, and help with meals), it was his way of saying, “I care.”
Yet sadly, I became so concerned (okay, anxious!) that I please him, appear grateful, and do the getaway just right that my muscles tensed, my mind raced, and my ears over-sensitized listening for a baby-cry that wasn’t even there. I didn’t sleep a wink. Nada! Bummer.
I wish I would have shared my needs a little more openly. I might have been able to relax and get more sleep if I had. So Mommy, if you identify with any part of my experience, please take a “hind-sight” tip from me. If the way you’ve been attempting to “do” your new mommy-hood hasn’t been working that well, try a different tactic. Really ask for what you need. Make room for self-care. Adjust your unrealistic expectations. Be gentle with yourself–and your family. God is.
Remember that whenever anyone starts a new career, there is a steep learning curve. And by the way, if what you’ve been doing is working and you’re getting good rest and gaining strength, keep it up.
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I adapted the above story from my book, Nourishment for New Moms. It contains simple and practical guidance (and lots of mommy-stories) for maintaining grace, poise, and a sense of humor with yourself and your baby. Chapters include:
- Who Hijacked My Body and Emotions?
- What Ever Happened to Romance?
- Learning to Tell Time (All Over Again)
- Redefining Love–Reducing Stress
- Sleepless Nights/Blurry Days
- Decisions, Decisions (Including when to go back to work or whether to breast feed)
- Where’d My Life Go?
- The Joy of Imperfect Momhood
This book would make a terrific MOTHER’S DAY gift for the new moms that you know–even if they already have several kids. Or maybe you can give it to yourself. I know as a mom of babies or young children, you don’t have much time to read, but just put it beside your rocking chair and read snippets while you’re feeding your baby or consoling your toddler.
And I’d love to hear from you about your NEW MOMS days.
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